Monday, May 14, 2007

Debunked Relationship Patterns

1. When you’re going steady, be sure it’s for love. Not necessarily. Sometimes, you agree to go steady because you wanna try if you can work things out. You are providing avenues for love to kick in---as evidenced by dating and lots of let’s-hang-out time. When you were still going out exclusively(as this is the prelude of “going steady”) you enjoy being so much with each other. But then again, there are a lot of couples out there who aren’t so sure of themselves being committed. The fact that both of you have agreed to go steady, well, that’s a good thing. But don’t fret if your partner does not tell you “I love you” just yet. Maybe s/he is still waiting for the perfect moment(if there is) or that s/he simply does not love you.

2. You can’t flirt if you’re already committed. Of course you still can! Just make sure it doesn’t go overboard (e.g. steamy liaisons). Remember that we, humans, are social beings. Sometimes a little flirting doesn’t hurt. But be honest to your partner also. You know when your flirting is harmless or if it’s bound to destroy trust. How? Ask yourself if you flirt for a “goal”. For example, you are flirting with your boyfriend’s friend because he’s sexy and you want to sleep with him. You even fantasize about having him as a boyfriend someday. See? You are even anticipating a break-up. That’s what overboard means.

3. Always ask permission. Respect your partner. You don’t really have to. A partnership is composed of two people (in the context of love & romance). Two different people. Two people who live two different lives, whose fates just met somewhere convenient and they both liked it that way. Of course you must inform your partner once in a while about what you are doing but you don’t have to tell him/her everything. And you can always say it afterwards. Just make sure it’s the truth.

4. Your virginity is the best gift you could give to your husband(/wife). Did you know that “sexual incompatibility” can be grounds for divorce? Well, regardless of whether you’ll be thanking me for that bit of knowledge or roll your eyes because you’ve read it before, it does not change the fact that for 90% of the people, sex is an eventuality. But it’s also not a requisite for marriage or a relationship. Oh, you know. You do it when you feel like...doing it, right? *wink*

5. When a relationship ends, both parties always have a share of the blame. It’s not like it’s pizza. Blame is so big a word that you have to say it in your most tactful way so as not to hurt people. But we have to accept the fact that shit happens, even to the most righteous ones. What if you’ve done everything for your partner but still he wanted something more? Different? Something new? Most couples and most friends-slash-commentators of the couples always say that both parties can always do something to save a relationship. But the real deal is that, sometimes, one of them is just too weak that the other cannot suffice. Then blame is supposed to be laid to someone. They share it. Or, people tell them to share it. Because we all know it would hurt less.

All is fair in love and war. But who wants war? Let’s just love. We can NOT force it. It inherently fills all of us. The question is, to whom would you spend most of it to?


tina said...

I think lng... ha?

Relationships fail because they were started for the wrong reasons. E.g. to fill one's loneliness, to be secure.. and more.

Then,.. they follow some " rules" and when one breaks a rule... they'd fight and end up breaking up.

I think.. a relationship would last if BOTH FELL IN LOVE for reasons that cannot be explained.

hayy much can be said about this.. basta.. let's just love.. and not force the feeling because this comes easily.

Fia said...

hahaha! kaw na jud! love the entry. =)

Avy said...

like what i've learned from Tina, :P love is unconditional.. you don't set rules just to stay IN love..

Peppermint Streak said...

I dunno.. i've always worked with rules.. and i've continually broken them. hehehe i kid. :p

anyway, yes tina there was some truth with what you said. however, that kind of love comes just a little less often than typhoon in Davao City.

kofigurl said...

So I take it you practice what you preach at number 4? Oh no!!!

Peppermint Streak said...

err... not YET. i guess i'm still sissy with some stuff. or wala pang worth-it guy. :)

AND why are you shocked?

Bam the Great said...

Hahaha! I agree with Tina and KIM! haha! Eeeww Karla! =p

Peppermint Streak said...

Ngek. Thou shalt not judge. hahaha